Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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