she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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