You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
