I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
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You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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