Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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