dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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