last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
