Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
