I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
tell me about the fingering
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