babies were throwing up all over the place
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
