Plan B is the new Plan A
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
