I love having hate sex.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
did i walk over a car last night?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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