thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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