my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
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Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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