My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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