I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Every concussion has its silver lining
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
