you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
