This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
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Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
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Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize