You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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