How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
