i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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