I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
