she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
