I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
