It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
