thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
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please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
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I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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