well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
