Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.