Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Dating After Heartbreak
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning