Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.

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  (714): I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public. http://tfl.nu/k8h3
  Replies (8) Good night (510) Bad night (1952) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.

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  (304): I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great. http://tfl.nu/mw4a
  Replies (11) Good night (4295) Bad night (480) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Every perfect package comes with a warning label.

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  (330): Every perfect package comes with a warning label. http://tfl.nu/x7rd
  Replies (25) Good night (3649) Bad night (992) Order T-Shirt
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.

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  (941): I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch. http://tfl.nu/0s5t
  Replies (16) Good night (2858) Bad night (1116) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.

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  (785): I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers. http://tfl.nu/hlo3
  Replies (6) Good night (2204) Bad night (1024) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.

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  (775): THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL. http://tfl.nu/wgt5
  Replies (19) Good night (3531) Bad night (1364) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.

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  (410): The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol. http://tfl.nu/hr46
  Replies (5) Good night (2991) Bad night (648) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.

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  (314): For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos. http://tfl.nu/t7k7
  Replies (11) Good night (4368) Bad night (890) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.

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  (307): Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER. http://tfl.nu/f1x9
  Replies (9) Good night (2639) Bad night (481) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...

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  (+44): A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh... http://tfl.nu/ky7u
  Replies (5) Good night (516) Bad night (1786) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.

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  (702): Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent. http://tfl.nu/joa6
  Replies (7) Good night (1098) Bad night (458) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!

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  (512): I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS! http://tfl.nu/2uiu
  Replies (5) Good night (2122) Bad night (440) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is

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  (317): And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is http://tfl.nu/xorh
  Replies (0) Good night (547) Bad night (175) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING

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  (407): OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING http://tfl.nu/avf7
  Replies (4) Good night (509) Bad night (196) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me

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  (306): I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me http://tfl.nu/ybnl
  Replies (3) Good night (113) Bad night (531) Order T-Shirt

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