tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Please. i have SOME standards
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy