Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
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My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
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Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.