He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.