This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
