I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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