Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
how does that bad decision feel?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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