ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.