Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
he just fucked me for my cheese..