then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music