she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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