hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.