Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
