yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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