I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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