i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
