Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
