Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
