You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
