Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
how does that bad decision feel?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
