He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
