i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
