when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
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If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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