i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We left an ass print on the piano.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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