I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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