Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
