I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize