i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
