if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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