Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize