So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
