You're completely useless in the revolution.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
