Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
