Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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