so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
